This is no advice. Just some random thoughts.
Every day when we wake up, we have this clarity of thought that tends to fade through the course of the day. If that's because of our work, then that's fine. But what I am talking here is about your off days. When you have got a break from work for some precious "me time". The beginning of a hassle free, sunny day with the fragrance of caffeine and much more .. Now before you plunge into the serenity of that thought , let me remind you of social media. Ow! Did that hurt ? Did that smooth flow of tranquility just got cut in ? If it did , you should probably quit or take a break from social media !!
This may be something you all already know but don't really wish to address. Yes, because social media is addictive.
In today's world, social media is a useful mode of networking for all its bright side. But, if your mental wellness is being injured knowingly or unknowingly by social media, then it's a definite arena to steer clear of. With the news feeds and articles being mostly negative and biased, and a fair share of unfairness being readily given as breakfast, you are at a huge risk of starting a day as real negative. Even if you intend to just scroll through to get updated about the happenings from the thumbnails or stories , you end up opening a pandora's box, not to mention the comments section.
And then comes the decisive time. Should you react to a comment? Correct people? Should you object or just ignore nonsensensical stuff in disguise ? Make the world a lot less judgemental? And most importantly, if you finally decide to pour in your thoughts, are you ready to face the online verbal abuse lurking in the corner ever ready to pounce on you the moment you opine? Now that's the real test. Whether you want to put yourself at risk. Or to be specific, your mood. Especially when you know from experience that it has immense potential to spoil your mood and subsequently the whole day. Added to all the negative vibe in social media is the fact that so many users, like me, are highly sensitive people. I also seem to have social media anxiety, the new age social anxiety. And so may be the case for many.
Well, I pondered over this. In retrospect, I found out that I was much more pleasant , positive, creative, focused and psychologically healthy on the days of my 'social media abstinence' . That's also when I realised that I don't have to try to correct myself or the world . Atleast not over social media, a place where people try to fight out their personal frustrations. Something they might never do in their real lives. A place for many people to vent. A fake social gathering in all its unnaturalness . Fake also because of the noise of distorted realities, photoshopped pics and lies that put people on immense pressure to attain unrealistic goals. It makes one feel lagging behind the "successful world ", forgetting one's own worth and the truth that every one has a different life and that it's ok for one to have one's own pace in life . That's also when I realised that I had to stop harming me the way I was doing.
I considered deaddicting myself with ample breaks, and then possibly quit one day. To protect myself from negativity.
For that, I had to understand why I or people in general need social media in the first place.
On doing a very basic analysis of the social media world, I realised that social media is a double edged sword. Here's how.
The advantage of getting to know the world and about everyone's perspective is just one facet of it. The reality is much more than that. The very reason one depends on social media is the much needed validation. Probably because we are all trapped in a flurry of empty targets that no one just has the time to lend an ear to anyone else. But at the same time, everyone seems to want that instant positivity for themselves. That pulse of confidence boost when some one gives a 'like' to a comment we made, a 'heart' of adoration to a post or pic we uploaded , a 'share' that makes us feel proud and authentic . The heavenly ping and the dopamine rush from seeing the red dot notifications. Ah..how it used to make me feel every time !. I would think how it would be to get my whole life a thumbs up-emoji based one. A tattoo of the thumb on my arm? A huge wall drape with the thumb imprinted ? A ceiling full of various emoticons reminiscent of those glow in dark galaxies 90s kids used to have pasted on their bedroom ceilings? May be get a few devoted wellwishers paid to send me some emoji, especially the thumbsup, based virtual greeting cards over various social media forums.
Now..that's just one half of me that loved all that attention. The other half, an entirely different entity, had been struggling all along .
That other half argued that may be I should just stop craving for it all. May be I should look back at all the things that had gone past or had been forcefully pushed back by me, to the status of things of another era. This half has always been a sensible one that wants people to write letters to me, make some real greeting cards for occasions and festive seasons, buy books that will have personalised messages written for me( even when it may be a business strategy from online sellers that I am well aware of ), may be try to lure some birds to my balcony with their favourite snack, have a drink and sing out loud in the middle of the night, specially because the tipsiness seems to mask my lack of confidence, read a lot, travel, meet real people, paint, dance, write, do some DIY crafts and many more things nonvirtual. Also to live in a place much like a countryside. This real half reminded me of the real things that would make me happy.
I had a debate. My one half for the real world with the other half for the virtual one.
The real half insisted that I required to be me once again. The me born with no social media limbs. That my soul had to be spared of the litter of hatred. That I had to stay off the need to be pleasy and the pleased.
The other half tried convincing me one last time that I ought to express myself on the media platforms, be friends with strangers, be part of groups of like minded people , and that it was ok to fret and fume when I couldn't win an argument or upon facing cyber bullying since it would help me get a thick skin eventually ! Well, I couldn't quite agree with that. Because it was never making me more bold but rather abrading my confidence and peace of mind.
Finally this is what I chose. I chose to close down all my major social media handles, turn into an anonymous voicer with a blog to share my thoughts and on the only handle which was necessary for my work, I got my profile pic and status replaced with those of landscapes, poems and meaningful quotes, and at times some quirky art, knowing very well that some people would go on to label me a stoner. I started doing all the real things that my real half loved, along with certain pleasantly crazy things such as fantasizing like a teenager a bit too much about someone I liked, even if he/she belongs to my enemy country. (Sometimes patriotism does have to give way to hormones of peace.)
I went back in time to remind me of the times I used to feel good about myself. To remember those occasions my gut feelings saved me. The blessings in disguise. Also the moments I had come face to face with death, and still survived. All these felt great. Because none of these involved approval from any one else except me. This was a proof of my potential. I realized that I was and am enough to make myself better than yesterday. Very interestingly, I started to regain my confidence I had lost over the last few years.
Thus, I became even more sure about my decision to shun social media.
I felt the need to share this piece of wisdom with the world. That, probably for some people like me , sometimes social media should be something to just casually look through, like having a dream or a past life memory. Without editings or involvements.
Social media may be a good place for the introverts and socially anxious as long as there is only drizzle and no hailstorms.
So I here I am, at peace with myself once again.
